Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Imagination Check


It's been a while.  I started out the year with good intentions of keeping up this blog, but alas, reality got a strangle-hold on me, and my writing became blocked.  Anyone who has known me very long, knows that I don't believe in writer's block, per se.  "Writer's Block," in my opinion, is not at condition in and of itself, but rather a symptom of other problems.

Writer's Block comes when a person is hiding something.  He could be hiding something from others or from himself.  The only way to alleviate the symptom is to deal with the root cause--to figure out what it is the writer is having difficulty being honest about.  You see, no matter what the subject, there is always an autobiographical element.  Be it ever-so-small, it is there nonetheless, revealing something about the writer himself.  It may just be the slightest dash of attitude, mood, or a prevailing world view, but the only way a writer can avoid revealing something of himself in his writing is by being utterly mechanical and dull.

Since my last blog entry in February, I've not been shrinking back from writing entirely.  I've written (and seen produced) a couple of short films, done a little revision on my novel, and started building the groundwork for another feature-length screenplay (a true story about someone else--not me).  It's been the blogging that has been difficult, because that's where I am most blatantly me.  As a professional, I cannot allow myself the luxury of wallowing in blockage, so, as with so many other maladies, I must exercise to break through.

Where do you exercise?  For physical exercise, some people have no problem going to a public gym or health club, but for a woman who is flabby and self-conscious, that is a difficult step to take.  She may not want to be seen in such a condition.  There's a time and a place for everything.  Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name . . .



. . . but other times--especially when breakthrough has been eluding you--quite the opposite is true.  You want to go where nobody knows your name . . . where you can disappear in anonymity.  My hiding place for such exercise, which I would recommend highly to struggling writers (as well as those wanting to practice self-therapy), is a private blog.  And that is where I have been prolific lately.  Has it worked as far as ushering in breakthrough?  I'd say that today is a success in that when I was inspired to write this message, the initial impulse was to stash it away in that place where nobody knows my name.  But then I realized there is no need to do so.  It may be a small, trivial message, but it is my babystep in working my way back to trusting.

Why have I been having trouble with trust?  Like so many other things in life, it may be one of the very traits that drives me to create in the first place that also causes me to shy back.  One of those mixed bags, blessings bound to a curse, ying and yang, Cheech and Chong, Donny and Marie . . .



Okay, bad example, but I think you know what I mean.  (And yes, that was probably an avoidance technique to stall for time . . .  and since Donny and Marie numbers never end, what a  l o n g  stall indeed!)

Imagination.  Imagination is of utmost importance to the writer, true, but it must be kept in check.  The very creative imagination that provides a wealth of material for us to work with can also work against us on a personal level.  My imagination can run so wild that it practically destroys me--especially since it has a tendency to run to the dark side.  Creative types have to be careful to sort out the fiction from the reality in their own lives.  That's largely what I've been doing lately, sorting through the memoir material to figure out where I have been lying to myself about myself.  My theory being that the less I lie to myself, the more my creativity will flow freely without blockage.

You've heard people speak of needing a "reality check," well I would propose that we also need an occasional "imagination check."  I think I had one today.  I try to walk two miles a day (although I've been falling short on that quite a bit lately).  Sometimes I do it on the track at the park, sometimes on the treadmill, and lately I've been trying to do it in my neighborhood more often than not.

On my route through the neighborhood, right around the 1.5 mile point, I pass a huge grassy yard that backs up to the sidewalk along a busy street, separated only by a chain-link fence.  This is a rarity in southern California where most people like their privacy and six-foot high wood or block fences encase most back yards.  I always look forward to passing this yard, not because I get to peek in and be a snoop, but because of the way it triggers my imagination.

Before I even reach the place on the sidewalk where I can peer into this private world, my senses are filled with the wondrous scent of gardenias and lavender, and glorious music, pouring out across the grass on loud speakers.  It's not the typical rock or rap music that people are most likely to see fit to inflict on helpless audiences, but rather a mixture of grand classical, swing, and big band type fare.  Coupled with the white linens often fluttering on the clothes lines, I'm always taken to places like the grand lawns F. Scott Fitzgerald peopled with handsome men and beautiful women in flamboyant garb.  I almost expect vintage cars to pull up, tooting their horns, and gloved hands to wave gracefully--one might even say "gaily."

The thing that makes it even stranger is the fact that I've never seen anyone in that yard, ever . . . until today.  I have imagined who might live there.  I've even thought of going around the block to the front of the house and knocking on the door so I can meet this specter of my imagination.  Often I've said it was populated by the ghosts of The Great Gatsby. And when I wasn't letting my literary imagination run to the supernatural and fictitious realm . . . I'd tell myself an elderly actress--retired and now wheel-chair bound--was gazing out a window, tracing with her fading eyes every contour of her lawn, recollecting the parties she threw back in the day when she was a star and the belle of every ball.  I imagined that the only gentlemen who ever set foot in that yard were the suitors in white tuxedos who only existed in her memory now.

All that was until today. 

Today the same floral scents captivated me, the same music made me want to dance and twirl and then collapse onto a settee, chilled cocktail in hand, fringe on my flapper gown swaying like the linens flapping in the breeze.  My imagination soared . . . until . . . I saw . . .

Him.

There in the yard, in the middle of the yard, a man was lounging belly down on a lounge chair flattened out like a stretcher.  He was not wearing a white tuxedo, nor gloves, nor smart hat . . . It didn't look like he had cut, or even combed, his hair in the past few months.  His clothes were dingy.  His head planted so concretely face-down on the chair that it was likely a pool of drool might be irrigating it.  This was about as far from the image I had dreamed of as you could possibly get.  What?  Was the plumber taking a break in the midst of unclogging the kitchen sink?  No, his limbs draped so comfortably, albeit not gracefully, toward the ground that he exuded a sense of belonging.  This was his home.

Ruined!  I thought.  My image was totally ruined!  But the music played on, washing over this motionless body that I wouldn't have thought out of place by a freeway off-ramp, holding out a tin can to passers-by.  As the notes swelled and waned and circled every inch of the luscious lawn and beyond, it dawned on me that the image was not ruined, but rather it had been expanded.  Had the occupant of this property been more elegant, there would have been no story worth repeating, but the very contrast of the expected and the revealed was beautiful: a reminder to look for the extraordinary in ordinary places, to look for the magnificent in the apparently mundane, and to believe--always believe--that the world is worth exploring because it is full of surprise, full of things we can't figure out with feeble logic and sluggish imagination.


Monday, February 7, 2011

Finesse or Façade?

When a friend told me that he thought my blog had "much more finesse" than his, I could have just taken it as a compliment.  His statement was, however, a much richer gift than a mere compliment.  That simple phrase, especially in the context of such a comparison of our blogs, could also serve as a challenge, or even an admonition. 

I hadn't read my friend's latest blog entries, and when I did, I was oh so thankful that his words had not been sanded down and white-washed with a mask of finesse.  He poured out his heart with deep, profound, raw honesty--with a bravery I only wish I had.  The fluctuations from sections of polished rhyme and meter to lines that read more impulsively--like the not yet edited results of brainstorming--became it's own form that illustrated uncensored feeling.

doubt, hurt, pain, regret, suffering...

were the tags to describe what he shared with anyone who would read his blog.  His words welcomed me into his pain and caused me to feel. 

Some people flee such emotion, but I've learned to treasure it.  It is connection.  It is what I believe being human is all about.  If we learn to disconnect with others over the hard things in life, then the connection will not be strong enough to deliver the full impact of joy or love.  We are a society so well-practiced at deadening our connections, at making them superficial, at managing them with finesse. 

Mirriam-Webster defines finesse as:

  1. refinement or delicacy of workmanship, structure, or texture
  2. skillful handling of a situation: adroit maneuvering
  3. the withholding of one's highest card or trump in the hope that a lower card will take the trick because the only opposing higher card is in the hand of an opponent who has already played

Desiring to be an artist, definition #1 is definitely a compliment.  Compliments are nice and all, but they often sit at the superficial level of communication.  Even delicacy and refinement speak to me of restraint, withholding (which, of course, there is a place for, but all in balance. All in balance.)

Definition #2 compliments the business sensibilities of the artist, "Look at how clever you are!  You just might be able to pull this thing off."  It makes me think of a race car driver, maneuvering the road, yet not really touching it, locked in a shell of protective metal.

Definition #3, however, can definitely be taken more than one way.  In the game of life, we are told we must be smart, we must be clever, we should always be looking for the best deals, the greatest bargains.  Applied to business, and applied to games, definition #3 is a good thing.  It's the kind of behavior that gets us ahead, brings success.  In relationships, however--in connections with our fellow human beings, definition #3 smacks of deception and usury.  Definition #3 makes sense in the world's economy, but in God's economy where it is better to give than to receive, and the last shall be first, and we are blessed through the conduit of blessing others, finesse can be nothing but an excuse for being selfish.

It was in definition #3 that I met my challenge, my admonition. 

Having two blogs, one public and another private, is a good way to manage one's image.  Pour those things that are unsightly and humiliating into the private blog, and carefully edit what you publish on the public blog--it's as simple as that.  Finesse, baby.  Finesse.

And yet, for all the hiding we do, I believe there is a desire deep inside every person to be known and to be accepted.  Finesse has us often so focused on the "accepted" part that we may overlook the "known" component.  Our hearts know the difference, though, and finessing my way into being accepted for something that isn't truly me will never be fulfilling.

So, why do we hide, why do we shrink back from connections?  I think it's largely due to a fear of pain.  Not only do we avoid the "Debbie Downer", not wanting the bad mood of someone else to spoil our day, we also don't want to be that fount of negativity.  We live in a world where everyone knows The Secret is positive thinking.  We hear it referred to as law: 

  • "The Law of Attraction"  
  • "Name it and Claim It" 
  • "Blab it and Grab It"

We're so afraid of a little pain that we build whole philosophies and religions around this gospel of prosperity and positive thinking, positive energies, and often ignore the richness of what is true and what is real.  I'm not saying that we should entertain negativity, but I am saying that I think it is actually a negative thing (can we even go so far as to say it carries "negative energy"?) to deny what is real and what is true in the moment that we live it.  It is negative because it doesn't foster connection.  If my reality is merely a construct of what I think, and yours of what you think, then where is the bridge between the two?


Maybe that negative impact of (false) positive thinking is why so many disciples of The Secret and other such philosophies still have to keep their weekly appointments with their psychiatrist and still feel so unfulfilled even when the Law of Attraction is blanketing them with shiny, pretty shrapnel. 

So, what does all of this have to do with the alleged finesse of my blog?

Even before my friend issued that compliment/accusation, I had already been thinking about how, in sorting out which things I blog about publicly and which I retain as private, I have been withholding some of my greatest life lessons--those grown in the soil of my deepest pain.  If keeping our pain to ourselves is a generous thing to do, why is there such relief in learning that we're not alone--that someone else understands our struggles?  Maybe it's because we were never intended to carry the pain alone.

"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." 
Galatians 6:2

How can sharing pain be a beautiful thing?  I think back to loosing my sister.  There was a lady in my church who lost her brother very close to the same time.  All she had to do was come up to me and squeeze my hand and say, "I know," and a bridge was built.  Once that bridge was built, a simple meeting of the eyes would reinforce the bitter-sweet connection.  We weren't alone.  Life was real.  It wasn't simply some bundle of energies that I made up within my mind.  She gave me the grounding I needed, and I'd like to think it was reciprocal.  Even now as I think of this, my eyes well up with tears and a knot in my throat nearly chokes me.  I'm not going to run from it, though.  I'll embrace it.  I'd sooner feel the deepest pain than not feel at all.  Numbness is like being alive but not really alive.

I thank my friend for, perhaps unwittingly, opening my eyes to the façade of my finesse.  I'm going to try to incorporate more of my "private blog" material here.  No promises other than that.  I'll try.  I'll try because I do long to be known for who I really am, but I'll also try because that is the generous thing to do.  There may be those who will never know that they are not alone if I don't find the courage to accept what is true and what is real, whether it's pretty or not.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Playing Doctor

 
I don't go to the doctor.  

It's not that I'm in some weird religious cult with "science" in it's name.  I just haven't had much experience with doctors' advise turning out to be of any value to me.  I read occasional health-related articles and consult the pages of "Prescriptions for Nutritional Healing," and do okay.  Every time I've thought that maybe a visit to the doctor might be called for, I've ended up regretting it.  

When I accidentally sliced my thumb open and rushed to the ER, I waited and waited--along with all the other stupid dinner-time kitchen utensil accident victims--missing my blood-tinged meal, and finally getting a few stitches, only to have the stitches ultimately fall out before the wound was completely healed.  Now when I feel the scar on the tip of my thumb, I can't help but think that I could have saved a pretty penny by using a roll of duct tape to do it myself with better results.  And with the money saved, I could have bought a better can opener.

Looking back, I'd have to say that the best medical advice I have ever received has come from non-doctors (friends, family members, and complete strangers).  Because of this, when a medical question popped into my head today, my first thought was not to call the doctor, or even to consult a medical website... 

My first thought was to post my medical inquiry on facebook.  

What better use of a status update than to elicit medical diagnosis from 349 of my "closest friends"?  And since a lot of my friends are actors, I'm sure there would be plenty who would relish the opportunity to play the part of the doctor with great authority.


That led to another idea.  I thought it would be fun to ask my friends to participate in a social networking experiment.  If everyone who was willing to post a medical question as their status line would also take a screen-shot of the crazy replies they received and send the screen-shots to me, I could compile them in an album--a virtual coffee table book entitled "Playing Doctor: diagnoses in the age of facebook".

You think I'm kidding, don't you?

Nope.  Serious is my middle name.  If you're in, send me your screen-shots (preferably zoomed in so we can read the comments).

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Writing from the Heart AND for the Market

So much of life is a balancing act.  Not only do people like symmetry visually, but they find it practical functionally as well.  Too much weight on one side of the wheelbarrow might even tip it over, and then you'll be side-tracked by shoveling up all the s*** ("stuff") you were hauling all over again.


Artists grapple with balance all the time, and I'm not just talking about within their composition, arrangement of design elements, structure of literary flow, and so on and so forth... I'm talking about within their lives and their work practices.

In the imagination of on-lookers, the life of an artist is a carefree existence--one not ruled so much by the laws of logic as by the fancy of the heart.  We're right-brained, after all (which is a nice excuse for laziness, sloppiness, and erratic behavior.) The idea of a "Starving Artist" has been romanticized.  Some even look at an artiste who focuses too much on the business side of his profession as a sell-out, less of a true artist.

We declare with deep ardor that art must first of all be true to the heart of the artist.  Who cares what the people want?--I've gotta be me!  That's why novelists are admired for dark, probing prose, and Hollywood is mocked for whitewashing the intensity of truth when the novel is adapted to the screen and the ending is tweaked to satisfy an audience hungry for happy endings tied up in neatly trimmed packages.

I've been on a high horse like that plenty of times--from the times that I've mocked the "contrived" blockbuster to the times I've defended the cryptic ending of my own "art" film.  

One really must understand teeter-totter physics in order to fully appreciate the danger of mounting the proverbial "high horse."  

Looking at the incline of the board in the above illustration, a child who has never played on a teeter-totter might think that the best place for the horse to stand in order to be king of the hill would be on the end of the board that is higher in the air (the end to the right in the picture.)  It doesn't take long on the playground, however, for a child to learn the lesson of balance.  The horse will find his highest possible position on the board by distributing his weight in a manner that is balanced in relation to the fulcrum (or by throwing a REALLY fat kid on the other end--but that's an entirely different issue).  

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Be Well and Vomit, er, I mean Be Well and Blog

It's been a while. It would seem that NaNoWriMo was the death of my blogging (which was already withering away on life-support). I did make it through the month, emerging with a stack of paper (well, actually, I haven't hit "print" yet--the ink is too expensive) a virtual "stack of paper" I call the first draft of a novel. The Office of Letters and Light says that makes me a "Winner," but I feel less than winnerly as I rest under the weight of guilt for deserting the good intentions of my blog.

my chart just before crossing the finish line:I guess the assembling of 50,000+ words that are more or less unified in story-telling purpose is an accomplishment. My enthusiasm, however, is tempered by the call of the re-write. So, now the moodiness of my inner frustrated writer wields a double-edged sword: On the one hand, I feel bad when I don't blog, but on the other hand, I feel like I'm using time that would better be spent on the re-write of my novel when I indulge in blogging. (You may look at my archives and say, "wait, what blogging?" but let me assure you that I have been blogging--or at least my anonymous alter-ego has been blogging.)

Yesterday, my friend Greg re-kindled my blog-fires by posing the question, "To Blog, or Not to Blog?" and starting a dialog on the purpose and value of blogging--especially for those who also write with the goal of publishing books. Opinions vary on whether authors should also blog or not and why (http://writinghood.com/online-writing/should-fiction-writers-have-a-blog/). Some blog for exposure and promotion to an audience, some blog as an exercise in writing (practice), some blog to help others with information they deem valuable, and some blog for self-satisfaction.

I know a great playwright who never misses a day blogging (and the blogs he posts are not mere trivial fluff). I am so impressed with his work ethic--he feeds my wannabe-writerly self-loathing and makes me contemplate plunging off a bridge on a regular basis. (I know, I should just head over to the pub like a REAL writer, but that's another story.)

As I perused the reasons others have for blogging, another reason came to mind: (perhaps because I spend a large percentage of my time with a couple of pre-adolescent boys)


BLOGGING IS LIKE VOMITING--sometimes there is something inside of you that just has to get out (and it doesn't matter so much who sees it or what it looks like--it just needs to be expelled or you'll be forever sick.)

In that sense, blogging can be very therapeutic. I started my anonymous blog mainly for that purpose--to keep myself from going insane, even while I can't afford a therapist.

I hope my friend Greg will start a blog, because he always poses such great questions, has a fantastic sense of humor, and literally overflows with encouraging words. The world could only benefit from his contributions to the blogosphere. I also hope he will take the plunge because blogging--like vomiting--is good for one's health, and I wish him (and the rest of my beloved friends) the best of health in this new year.

Be well and blog!
Pictures from SNL Rookie Cop sketch,
circa 1994

Sunday, October 31, 2010

GUNDER - a poem written by my dad



GUNDER
by Severt Score
March 20, 1984

On the Gaula River's south bank,
between Støren and Singas,
a cave so deep and dark and dank
makes you shudder as you pass.
With mouth between two wooded knolls
it winds beneath a rocky hill.
It once was home to many trolls.
Some say trolls live there still.

There three hundred years ago,
on a cold midwinter morn,
by a burning pine knot's flickering glow,
Gunder the troll was born.
Young Gunder was not pretty
and Gunder was not cute.
His face was rough and gritty
and he had a lengthy snoot.

But that young troll was healthy
and he soon became quite spry.
He learned moves that were stealthy.
He pulled pranks that were sly.
Each night he'd join his ugly friends
along the river's banks.
At farms and towns around the bends
they'd steal and play their pranks.

Just before the night was over,
before the sun lit up the sky,
they all scurried for cover
but no one told Gunder why.
The other trolls would sleep all day
in the cave so dark and deep,
but Gunder kept on with his play.
He had less need for sleep.

In the cave he only had the trolls
to pester with his pranks.
He kept it up without controls.
Of course he got no thanks.
At last they said, "We've had enough.
Gunder has to leave us
so that with all that pesky stuff
he can no longer grieve us."

One troll grabbed him by the leg
so quickly it made him shivver.
They stuffed and sealed him in a keg
which they tossed in the river.
The currents took poor Gunder
up into Trondheims Fjord.
There the sailors on a schooner
hauled the soggy keg on-board.

The captain said, "Get busy!
No time for this old junk!"
With the sailors in a tizzy,
Gunder sneaked into a trunk.
Of that trunk's destination
Gunder knew not one iota.
Via the New York Station
he was shipped to North Dakota.

He thought his new home would be fine.
He might well have been afraid.
There was a lot of sunshine.
There was very little shade.
He would have hid throughout the days
if he had only known
that when touched by sun's direct rays
many trolls will turn to stone.


Gunder, reclining happily in St. Cloud, MN



A handwritten note on the hardcopy of this poem my dad gave me reads:
". . . your great grandfather, Ole Score, came from a går called Skårvold in the Støren district, southeast of Trondheim. Your great grandmother, Sigrid Klefstad, came from Trondheim. It is part of the legend of the trolls that some of them would turn to stone if touched by the direct rays of the sun."

My dad is not only a poet, but also an artist, sculpting all sorts of creatures out of rocks, epoxy, and various other found objects. This poem is based on a true story. I know because I have had the pleasure to meet the real Gunder. When I met him in northern North Dakota, of course, he had already turned to stone, so he was unable to verbally verify the story. The mischievous twinkle in his petrified eyes, however, said it all. This poem is the explanation of how Gunder came to live with us in the Lutheran parsonage of Fairdale, ND.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Instead of coming out of the closet, I'd like to invite you into my closet... and while you're at it, take a gander at my underwear drawer!


Realizing that I haven't been a reliable blogger, I'd like to say that's going to change--that from here on out you can expect to see something new from me every day or every week or at least every month. Such a promise, however, would be like a dog vowing not to linger long enough to sniff the territory he just marked. Nature is nature and A.D.D. is... what were we talking about?

I'll never forget that moment in junior high English when I was first introduced to the concept of the "Stream of Consciousness" narrative mode. It was like a tiny glimpse of freedom in the stifling linear world of traditional education. I might have grasped how profound that moment was, had I known then what I've come to realize in recent years of "dealing with" and researching my own kids' learning challenges. As I came to grips with the fact that one of my children had all the symptoms of A.D.D. (which is harder to spot than it's more obvious cousin, A.D.H.D.), I also had to admit that I fit the description to a tee (and that coping wasn't getting any easier with age).

My brain doesn't process things quite as "efficiently" as the brains of others may--efficiently for the results that traditional academia is seeking, that is. I take detours to check out alternate possibilities (lots of detours), which means it may take me longer to get from point A to point B. When I get there, however, I usually have a web of connections that incorporates other tangent points; and, even though I may be slower, I think a web just might be stronger than a single thread. Some "Stream of Consciousness" literature seemed to reflect that web-spinning way of thinking that felt most natural to me.

As much as I can count my differing mode of operation as a gift that has allowed the birthing of some of my most creative ideas, I must admit that in other ways it is also a disability. What good is it to have heaps and heaps of ideas if one is too disorganized to ever see any of them through to fruition?
In preparing for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month http://www.nanowrimo.org/) which is only days away, I've been trying to find all the story ideas and files I've compiled over the years. I've dug in boxes and file cabinets and drawers and closets, and plugged in external hard drives and zip drives. I've read notes that were typed on an old word processor, scrawled on restaurant napkins, and incorporated into old journals. In spite of all this searching, the two ideas I thought were developed the furthest are still nowhere to be found. All is not lost, however... in this process of searching, I've stumbled upon gems that I had totally forgotten about:

-- treatments for feature films that have held up over the time--I'd still like to see the movies described therein
-- old poetry, both mine and my parents'
-- short stories and plays
-- articles and books clipped and saved for possible adaptation...

I'm not going to fool myself that this will be easy to sort through. It's quite the overwhelming task. Those who live close enough to have been in my house in recent months can attest to the fact that what was supposed to be "Spring cleaning" has drug on into Summer and now Autumn with little evidence of an end point. I hauled boxes out of closets in order to sort through everything before putting it back in the closets, and now my closets are the only areas of my house where I would feel comfortable entertaining guests. Oh, my sock and underwear drawers are super-tidy now, too, but I'm not sure what that has to do with entertaining guests. It does, however, bring up an interesting quirk of mine that I have admitted to few:
My sock and underwear drawers are a sort of barometer of my psychological well-being. If I'm depressed and have essentially "given up"--as I sometimes do--I will start shoving undergarments into the drawers unfolded. If, on the other hand, I'm hopeful and my self-esteem is intact, I treat myself to the neatest, most orderly (nearing O.C.D. levels, I will admit) storage of my unmentionables (which, I just mentioned... sorry 'bout that.)
I am taking hope, however, that since I was able to organize my eating and exercising to the point that I've lost 1/4 of my previous body weight and dropped a bunch of pant sizes since the beginning of the year, I CAN discipline other areas of my life as well. At some point in time, I may have to ask for a little help from my friends. The number one way you can help me is by holding me accountable. Feel free to bug me. To prod me. To remind me of what I said I was going to do. If you haven't heard from me for a while, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm off making good progress on a project... It might mean I'm tangled in one of my A.D.D. webs and need to be reminded where I was headed.